saved by the bell as seen through the eyes of an outsider.

Dear Normal People,
I sometimes forget that others don't watch as much Saved By the Bell as I do. I was chatting with the lovely and talented John Albers and he schooled me on what its like to not be obsessed with SBTB. Everything seems much simpler even though the whole conversation did upset me to my very core. I've made notes in some key areas.

John: ok, someone said 'this guy mark, blah, blah' and i said 'who's mark?' and they said 'zach morris' or something

me: mark paul gosselar yes

John: and I said 'who is zach morris' (seriously?? and he keeps spelling it wrong)

me: lol, i would have punched you in the face (an almost true statement)

John: which is apparently equivalent to spitting on the pope or something (true)

look

I know who some of the people are

me: lol its true

John: there is dustin diamond (he's got 1)

John: the slater guy (2)

John: mario lopez (3)

i think

me: yes good job

John: the showgirls girl (4)

berkely

me: the slater guy hahahaa ("the slater guy" is a great descriptive)

yes jessie

John: and the black girl (makes sense since the school lacked in diversity (5))

and some other white girl (6)

me: yes lisa turtle

yep, kelly kapowski

John: the white girl is sorta famous

me: tiffani amber theissen

John: she has 3 names or something (bingo)

yeah

me: she was on 90210, yes! good job

John: and mr. belding

me: altho impressive...im still humored that you know details about everyone but the main character

John: ok, but the zach guy has done almsot nothing else though he was in some college movie

i don't really know them from the show (albers is the only person who knows the cast of sbtb by their "other" work)

me: zack. (here is where i correct his spelling)

college movie--dead man on campus

John: right

me: he also was on nypd blue and on tnt now "raising the bar"

John: but there was the porn tape, showgirls, mario lopez was everywhere,

90210 (way to break it down)

me: touche. (i was left speechless....)

get out of my face, facebook!

So, let's get this out of the way- I really like Facebook. I used to be a Myspace kind of girl...but the lure of Scramble and Pathwords brought me to the dark side.

My main *original* complaint about Facebook was that I just didn't get it. I didn't understand why someone was "poking me" or "throwing a sheep in my direction" amongst other things. Again through the games and the ease of posting/tagging photos, I became a quick fan....a rabid supporter if you will.

As of late, I've been noticing I'm receiving more and more requests for what I think is weird. No, I do not want to accept your Halloween/Thanksgiving/Christmas treat. I'm terrified of whatever a "hatching egg" is and guess what--we will probably not actually prevent global warming by accepting a "lil green patch".

I logged in yesterday and I have a record high 27 requests. I did a screenshot to show the absurdity. I think my favorite is "1 kidnap request". So now someone is requesting to kidnap me?? How polite. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate the thought when you click on my name to send me stuff...but chances are I won't accept it. Now its more of a personal vendetta against the requests. Or notifications. How insane is this? Check out the screenshot below.

Here are the requests since it didn't show up too well:

1. 1 friend request

2. 1 own your friends invitation

3. 3 drinking requests

4. 1 purple reign!!!! w request

5. 1 wacko for flacco!!! request

6. 1 heart request

7. 1 my christmas present invitation

8. 1 you're hot request

9. 1 christmas decoration request

10. 1 gingerbread cookies request

11. 1 cause invitations request

12. 1 christmas treats request

13. 3 (lil) green patch requests

14. 1 wacko for flacco! wa request

15. 1 portis hit the purpl request

16. 1 go joe flacco! wave request

17. 1 baltimore gifts request

18. 2 christmas tree requests

19. 1 holiday-cheer request

20. 1 i love the 80s invitation

21. 1 kidnap request

22. 1 thinking of your request

Anyway, time go, I have to open my christmas gifts, wave for joe flacco and have a virtual drink.

wanna rave?

OMG. "Saved By The Bell: The College Years" makes me want to stab myself.

Pretty strong statement, but so true. I love SBTB...but TCY is just SO bad. Not even the good kind of bad like its predecessor. What's the deal TBS? Why must you ruin my Fridays with episodes of TCY between 7-8:30 when I usually watch my old fashioned SBTB?

I digress. TCY are horrible...here are a few reasons why:

1. No Lisa, Kelly*, Jessie or Belding.
-Lisa has been on SBTB since the "Good Morning Miss Bliss Days" (worst theme song ever). She was there during the Rockumentary and the Tori Years...even the Hawaiian episodes and the Las Vegas Wedding.
-Kelly* on the other hand didnt make it in the Tori Years (she was busy on 90210) and didnt make the first half of TCY. However*, she did transfer to CAL-U and somehow managed to be placed in the same exact dorm as Leslie/Alex...right next door to Slater/Zack/Screech!
-Jessie was not in the Rockumentary, Tori Years or TCY. She did show up for the Vegas Wedding and was a total fruitcake.
-Belding. How did Belding not make it to CAL-U? I know he was busy with "The New Class"...but he managed to get to Hawaii as an eff'ing tour guide at one point. He couldnt come visit the crew for Chrissakes?

2. Roger.
You know what? Roger wasnt that bad. He was pretty funny. He wore really ridiculous shirts that were off the shoulder and I'm pretty sure he was a football player in real life.

3. I dont really have any other reasons except that it wasnt funny......or good....except for one episode...

THE RAVE.

By far...THE WORST (BEST) episode in TCY history.

This episode comes right on the heels of Kelly's torrid (not really) affair with Professor Jeremiah Lasky *swoon*. Kelly isnt over Jeremiah and Zack has decided that he loves Kelly again so it makes everything personal between him and Lasky. There is trouble brewing. (Also I will refer to Professor Jeremiah Lasky as Jeremiah or Lasky because both are equally funny names.)

I'm avoiding the nitty gritty details of this episode and hitting a few main ideas.

Zack, Slater and Alex plan to go to Cancun for Winter Break...Zack wants to bring Kelly so that she'll stop thinking about Lasky. Kelly following true SBTB form of course doesnt have the money (and either does Zack for some reason), so the only logical solution is...to throw a rave!! Don't get a job like Slater, its much easier to charge $5 for party with black lights and some trippy pictures. *sigh*

Alex is in charge of music and actually refers to herself as Snoppy Ally Dogg or something completely ludicrous. She is spinning and scratching records and people are having a GREAT time.

Here's where the show gets serious...Screech has fallen into some trouble with a group of guys. They want him to steal some NO (Nitrous Oxide) from the science lab so they can totally get high, man. Screech does it to be cool. One of the finest scenes in TCY history is watching the guys put NO into balloons and then suck it out. Seriously, does this actually happen? I admit I have no knowledge of drug-use but this can't be what people actually do. It's college--there has to be a pot somewhere. I mean, even in high school Johnny Dakota showed up with a joint in the boys bathroom! This is pure lunacy.

Party time, party, party...wait, party is over...Lasky shows up...in his bathrobe.

This is the typical "WTF?" moment in a SBTB episode. Why is Lasky in his bathrobe? To quote a fellow SBTB follower, "Obviously Lasky is homeless". He lives in the lecture hall? Is this happening?

To make matters worse, Slater had to save Screech from the NO guys by raising his fist in a threatening manner and Roger's room was painted black to act as a smaller offshoot of the rave. First of all, how is this possible when Roger lives in the dorm?...is the lecture hall in the dorm? Is the lecture hall THE MAX?

OMG.

Bayside High School=DORM
The Max=LECTURE HALL

I feel like I've stumbled across the holy grail of SBTB.

Actually its between that and the devastation that I can't find a picture of Lasky in his plaid bathrobe. The image that is burned forever in my retina is all I have.

I'm standing at the edge of tomorrow........today...today...today....

conan fever...leno plague

There is no reasoning to this blog title other than the fact I hate Jay Leno so I wanted to associate him with the plague.

Remember back in 2004 when Leno announced his retirement and the world rejoiced because Conan would FINALLY take over The Tonight Show in 2009? Well guess what, its 2009 and things aren't as they seem.

Rumors swirled....
-Leno could move to ABC , Kimmel would then leave
-Leno would take a 10pm slot, etc

NBC announced that Conan would take the 11:30 "Tonight Show" spot and that Jimmy Fallon would move into Conan's 12:30am slot. This news seemed fine to me. Main reason: no more Jay Leno.

I love Conan more than anything, no one is as funny or as bizarre as he is. When I was a freshman in college I found some link on nbc.com where you could receive an autographed pic of Conan. I didn't receive it until my senior year...3 years later...but it doesnt matter. I have it. I have a lovely autographed picture of Conan O'Brien. I heart him.

Wow, no outline as usual. So back to the whole point of this...I found out yesterday that Leno will be taking a 10pm slot on NBC. Which means:

NBC:
10pm-Leno
11:30pm-"The Tonight Show" with Conan O'Brien
12:30am-Jimmy Fallon*

ABC:
12:00am-Jimmy KImmel

CBS:
11:30pm-David Letterman
12:30am-Craig Ferguson

What does this say to Conan? "We didnt think you'd be able to handle the 11:30 slot, so we're giving you Jay as a lead-in like you've had for the past 20 years." The Jay and Conan audience are totally different. This is because anyone that likes Leno has no sense of humor and those who like Conan probably have the best sense humor. Ouch, fightin words.

So in a sense, Conan is still in his same slot, just a different title. He was sort of shafted on the whole getting "The Tonight Show". Kind of sucks. I still wonder what type of show he'll have at 11:30...curious if he'll keep things to the same low-grade humor that we're used to..aka masturbating bear to name one.

The only reason I'm happy is because I'm old and can't stay up to 12:30am most weeknights...now I'll be able to watch Conan at 11:30...or the first 10 min anyway.

sweet, sweet slater percussion

I find it necessary to document any continuity on sbtb in this blog...

dancing to the max:
slater played drums in the band

rockumentary:
slater played drums in the band

small battles.

stuff it

For as long as I can remember, holiday dinners have featured my Grandmothers stuffing. I remember loving the stuff (ha) when I was younger, but as I got older and understood things such as heart failure, cholesterol and trans fat...I realized that it was probably the worst thing you could possibly eat...ever.

Over the past few years my Mom and I have tried to persuade Grandma to not make the stuffing.

-"Grandma/Ma, you don't need to do all that work, we don't need stuffing"

-"I don't need a whole pan for myself, its too much, but thank you"

-"Just make a little this year!"

Obviously this never works. My Grandmother, God Bless Her, is a food pusher. She probably eats one bite of food during every meal and never sits down to eat, but she'll make sure that you're eating. It can't be avoided. I love her, so I let it slide. Occasionally I will yell out "food pusher!" and immediately regret it, but she just laughs and asks if I want to take some meatballs home. *sigh*

Anyway, back to the stuffing. For approximately 24 years I had no idea how my grandmother made the stuffing. No one ever watches or is allowed to help. I know there is chopping involved because we bought her a chopper one year specifically for making stuffing. There is celery in it. I know that. I've seen that before. Two years ago I couldn't take the stuffing anymore. It was making me violently ill every year. Not because Grandma was trying to kill me, but because my eating style had changed (much healthier) and the stuffing really wasn't on my list of daily nutritional requirements. I'm not sure how we found out...but Mom and I delved into the stuffing recipe a little closer and discovered that Grandma uses 12 eggs in the stuffing. 12. TWELVE eggs. Here's the thing, its not even that much stuffing so the fact that she uses 12 eggs is absurd. Ever since I''ve discovered this fact, I've avoiding the stuffing like the plague.

Without fail, Grandma always made a whole extra pan of stuffing just for me. In recent years, I've been able to leave it at my Mom's house and not have to eat it, but this year was a different ballgame. I decided not to have one bite of it. I basically faked eating the egg-filled stuffing to make Grandma feel good. Sure it's a lie, but its a nice lie so its okay. Right?

Anyway, this year was no different. We went over Grandma's and the stuffing was in the pan. I could smell it, I ran from it. My Mom and I were in the living room and here comes Grandma with a bowl of it for my mom. It was lunchtime so it was meant to be a small snack for Mom. My Mom's eyes widened out of fear, she had no way out. She ate the stuffing. Grandma came in and said "you didn't save any for Kara!". My Mom said "oh, it was soo good I had to eat it all".

Mom took one for the team.

I went into the kitchen and low and behold there was a pan with my name on it. I knew what it was. It was the pan of stuffing. I stared and walked away. I like to pretend that if I ignore things, they'll go away. Didn't happen. Sort of...

For some reason my grandma put the perfectly rounded pan on top of a basket of chestnuts. Yes we have roasted chestnuts in the house. After dinner my Pop Pop went over to eat some chestnuts (Note, he doesn't eat, he loves snacks and is as thin as a rail, so he can afford to snack AFTER he eats as well)...and he couldn't figure out what was going on with the chestnuts, and we realized that he was poking at the stuffing and putting holes in it. Much giggling ensues and I get up to help him. We pick up the pan of stuffing and oil just dripped out and our hands were covered. We both looked at each other horrified. At that point I couldn't have been happier that I didn't eat the stuffing.

My mom and I managed to get out of the house without the stuffing somehow. But I know there will be a phone call soon "You forgot your stuffing!" and I'll feel horrible.

But don't worry, Christmas is right around the corner. My Mom has Christmas at her house--and honestly we all prefer StoveTop...but that will never happen. There is no way my Grandma would ever let us eat boxed stuffing. (Isn't StoveTop soo good though??). So on Christmas Day my Grandma will come in with a giant pan covered in towels because the heart attack in a pan is still warm and we'll all stare at it and wonder just like every other year, what we're going to do with all of the stuffing.

Believe me, I'm thankful for everything and I know some people don't have food at all. But please don't let me eat the stuffing. Mom is the first victim, she called to let me know the stuffing has given her a mad case of indigestion. Myself on the other hand is feeling pretty good. The only rock sitting in my stomach is the overwhelming guilt of lying about the stuffing. Lying, indigestion, stuffing...everything you need for a good Thanksgiving.

happy turkey day!

things id like on dvd

salute your shorts
hey dude!
the hugga bunch movie
parker lewis cant lose


thats all for now.