Happy almost 2009. I am pretty excited for 2009 although I hate the holiday which is New Year's. So stupid. I'd much rather prefer to stay at home and watch Dick Clark's Rockin' New Years Eve, but the stigma attached to staying home alone is so intense that it overwhelms me and forces me to go out. That's right, forces me! I have no control over anything!
I've thought of a few resolutions that aren't useful at all.
1. Vacuum more.
-I definitely don't vacuum enough and its giving me anxiety.
2. Drink less coffee.
-Recently I've determined that the large travel size cup of coffee that I drink every morning is causing severe eye twitching. Or that's what my research has determined. Coffee=eye twitch. No cofffee=no eye twitch.
3. Learn the dance to "Single Ladies"
-I mean, who wouldn't attempt this? It's impossible not to sing or dance to it.
4. Learn all of the words to "It's the End of the World As We Know It" by R.E.M.
-This song has plagued me my entire life. I can sing like 4 lines correctly. Honestly I don't know if they are correct. Here's what I think they are?
"That's great it starts with an earthquake, birds and snakes an aeroplane, Lenny Bruce is not afraid, eye of hurricane"
"6oclock tv hour..."
"uh oh this means no fear cavalier renegade steer clear a tournament a tournament a tournament of lies, offer me solutions offer me alternatives and I'll decline"
"LEONARD BERNSTEIN"
I'm totally useful. Happy 2009!
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