Dad quotes are always funny, but what about when you add Dad's dryness to a large amount of narcotics after his knee replacement surgery? Gems. All gems.
Again, unless you know my Dad, they may not be as funny to you.
"Great. Because she's insane, I have to have girly tissues"
-In reference to the box of fancy tissues Grandma bought him
"Oh man. We've got to get our hands on this stuff man."
-What stuff
"Dope. BOOM. OUT. BOOM. OUT"
"They tried to make me go to rehab but I said no, no, no..."
-Yes, the lyrics to Rehab by Amy Winehouse
"I'll push it again for the heck of it...it probably doesnt do anything"
-The drug button that releases MORPHINE into his IV
"Why are you staring at me? Why dont you sing holy songs? Rock of Ages..."
"I like this view"
-What do you see?
"The top of a tree"
"JESUS, put me under!"
-after Mom was talking to him
-Dad, your toiletries are in the bathroom.
"No, they are health and beauty aids"
"I gotta have Puffs? I cant even get to my stinkin nose with this thing"
-Yelling about tissues and the oxygen nose thing
"I successfully completed the pill"
-After swallowing one pill
"What do you expect? I'm hooked up to DOPE!................dopamine"
-After being laughed at for dozing off
6.30.2008
6.23.2008
we're toast
There are plenty of reasons why Alayna and I are best friends. Some of these might include: our ability to laugh at everything, a complete understanding (usually) of each others behaviors, and a love of 80s music.
Personally, I think the biggest and best reason is the fact that we both have toaster ovens in our trunk. Did you just say "what?" outloud? Yeah, well, its true. I was given a toaster oven probably a year ago and its been in my trunk ever since. I dont feel like dealing with bringing it into the house. Alayna recently received hers and its just in her trunk too for the same reason. Who else do you know that carries toaster ovens in their trunks? No one. We're awesome. As is documented below in 2 photos. One drunk and one sober. You can determine which is which. Maybe one day we'll take one with our toaster ovens...if we ever get them out of the car.
Personally, I think the biggest and best reason is the fact that we both have toaster ovens in our trunk. Did you just say "what?" outloud? Yeah, well, its true. I was given a toaster oven probably a year ago and its been in my trunk ever since. I dont feel like dealing with bringing it into the house. Alayna recently received hers and its just in her trunk too for the same reason. Who else do you know that carries toaster ovens in their trunks? No one. We're awesome. As is documented below in 2 photos. One drunk and one sober. You can determine which is which. Maybe one day we'll take one with our toaster ovens...if we ever get them out of the car.
6.22.2008
the enchanted f'ing forest.
Alrighty...this one is going to blow your mind.
In 2005, I wrote a blog...I'm reposting it here. the purpose of this blog starts below the old blog!
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When we pulled up to "Elioak's Farm", I could see the crazy Enchanted Forest figurines and houses...I decided I didnt want to go in. It cost $4.00 and before I know it, my Dad paid the lady at the booth and he patted me on the back and said "its time for you to grow up...go into The Enchanted Forest alone". The next thing you know, my parents are hanging out in the gift shop and I'm trudging through the terror that is The Enchanted Forest. I was moving quick. As quick as I could due to my bandaged feet. It was hot and scary and I've documented my visit. See the below slideshow. I hope you enjoy...and I hope I dont have nightmares tonight.
In 2005, I wrote a blog...I'm reposting it here. the purpose of this blog starts below the old blog!
==============================================================
things that screwed me up as a child: episode .1
Current mood: creeped out!
Category: creeped out! Travel and Places
when i was little i was taken to all kinds of amusement parks and i was pretty much afraid of at least one thing at each park.
my parents were big fans of "dutch wonderland" in pennsylvania. numerous things scared me here:
log flume and the "froggy" tunnel: it was the tunnel you had to go through before you got to the top of the log flume. it was one of those things that was added after like 10 years to make it more fun. it instead scared the crap out of me. it sent you through a giant frogs huge opened mouth. and once you got in you couldnt see anything. it was foggy and moist and warm and it ended my love of the log flume. do i get on log flumes to this day? NOPE. (with or without a froggy tunnel)
the jungle cruise: what looks like a tame ride is actually a horrifying terror-filled boat ride towards man-eating animatronic plastic animals. is that redundant? oh well. i have a distinct memory of being in the boat and going towards the giant hippo and alligator's mouth, again, scaring the crap out of me.
sky cab: i dont remember the actual name of this ride but i think you get the idea. i wasnt really afraid of this ride but i almost lost a shoe. thats enough to make a girl get upset!
kings dominion:
scooby doo's ghost coaster roller coaster: worst. ride. ever.
disney world:
primieval whirl: horrible. kind of like that stupid mouse ride that spins but there are weird dizzy walls and drops and i wanted to die.
snow whites scary adventures: i stand by the fact that when i went to disney world the first time in 97 it was called "snow whites adventures". when i went back in 99, it was changed to "scary adventures". before this, no one believed that it was scary..."quit being dumb kara, blah blah". ha! proved you all wrong! name was changed!
THE ENCHANTED FOREST
the entire purpose to this stupid blog. i was mindlessly searching the internet and for some reason i remembered that the enchanted forest was supposed to re-open. i googled it and found some pics. it totally freaked me out. does everyone else remember this place? when i was little i loved it, but now looking back its totally creepy! check out the website. right now the park is closed and it is being overrun with weeds and stuff and it looks really sad...like oz in "return to oz" when the wheelers were running around all kinds of creepy like and tick tock was whining in the back room "wind me dorothy wind me". but thats a whole new complaint for a different time.
anyways, check out the pictures, see if they freak you out or if its just my normal anxiety towards bizarre things in amusement parks. have a nice day:)
http://theimaginaryworld.com/ef.html
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Welcome back. Hope you're still reading. So my Dad had agreed to take me to the "new" Enchanted Forest...and today we finally went. My mom swears that I liked it when I was little...I'm not so sure...
When we pulled up to "Elioak's Farm", I could see the crazy Enchanted Forest figurines and houses...I decided I didnt want to go in. It cost $4.00 and before I know it, my Dad paid the lady at the booth and he patted me on the back and said "its time for you to grow up...go into The Enchanted Forest alone". The next thing you know, my parents are hanging out in the gift shop and I'm trudging through the terror that is The Enchanted Forest. I was moving quick. As quick as I could due to my bandaged feet. It was hot and scary and I've documented my visit. See the below slideshow. I hope you enjoy...and I hope I dont have nightmares tonight.
6.05.2008
RNR, WTF?
RNR.
It stands for "Read No Response". It happens when someone (generally a female) sends a text message or email to someone (generally a male) and the said person reads and doesn't respond. Hence the term RNR.
I often wonder how difficult it must be to answer text messages...oh wait, I don't have to wonder. I know that it isn't difficult AT ALL. Usually a response of "ok", "sure", "np" or even "k" for shit sake is acceptable.
I've decided to put together a few steps that will help the novice deal with an RNR. The more I think about it, the more I realize I'm probably not qualified to help with RNR's, but oh well.
1. Don't let the RNR ruin your life.
Often times the response to a text message is so detrimental to our lives that our mood and overall happiness will be tragically altered by the non-responsive party. Mind over matter. Realize that the said party probably isnt thinking about the text as much as you are. They acknowledge it by reading it and maybe smiling to themselves or making a mental note, etc.
2. Ask a question.
This is usually a good way to ensure a response to a typically non-responsive RNR-er. If you ask a question, it generally forces the said party to answer.
3. Stop the torture. Stop the texting.
I swear to God, texting is the new "drunk dial". I cant tell you how many times I text when I dont mean to or want to. I can see myself texting and I'm telling myself to stop but I cant. It's a drug. If I would just put the phone down, I could avoid all unnecessary *potential* disappointments.
I was a MassComm major. I blame all of this on my need to constantly be in communication with people. Maybe its because I'm an only child and need constant attention. Whatever it is, I need it constantly.
I felt that for this blog to be official and accurate...I should send a text in the middle of it. Well, the results included 2 responses and one last text from me with no response. Do I regret this decision?
Okay, lets recap...and see how I did.
1. Life ruined?
Mild devastation, not permanent or severe.
2. Did I ask a question?
No, so really no need for a response.
3. Stop texting.
Did I stop? No. I should have.
Again, do I regret my decisions? My answer is no. It was for the greater good of the blog. And I've learned my lesson. Just say no to texting, kids. It's the devil.
It stands for "Read No Response". It happens when someone (generally a female) sends a text message or email to someone (generally a male) and the said person reads and doesn't respond. Hence the term RNR.
I often wonder how difficult it must be to answer text messages...oh wait, I don't have to wonder. I know that it isn't difficult AT ALL. Usually a response of "ok", "sure", "np" or even "k" for shit sake is acceptable.
I've decided to put together a few steps that will help the novice deal with an RNR. The more I think about it, the more I realize I'm probably not qualified to help with RNR's, but oh well.
1. Don't let the RNR ruin your life.
Often times the response to a text message is so detrimental to our lives that our mood and overall happiness will be tragically altered by the non-responsive party. Mind over matter. Realize that the said party probably isnt thinking about the text as much as you are. They acknowledge it by reading it and maybe smiling to themselves or making a mental note, etc.
2. Ask a question.
This is usually a good way to ensure a response to a typically non-responsive RNR-er. If you ask a question, it generally forces the said party to answer.
3. Stop the torture. Stop the texting.
I swear to God, texting is the new "drunk dial". I cant tell you how many times I text when I dont mean to or want to. I can see myself texting and I'm telling myself to stop but I cant. It's a drug. If I would just put the phone down, I could avoid all unnecessary *potential* disappointments.
I was a MassComm major. I blame all of this on my need to constantly be in communication with people. Maybe its because I'm an only child and need constant attention. Whatever it is, I need it constantly.
I felt that for this blog to be official and accurate...I should send a text in the middle of it. Well, the results included 2 responses and one last text from me with no response. Do I regret this decision?
Okay, lets recap...and see how I did.
1. Life ruined?
Mild devastation, not permanent or severe.
2. Did I ask a question?
No, so really no need for a response.
3. Stop texting.
Did I stop? No. I should have.
Again, do I regret my decisions? My answer is no. It was for the greater good of the blog. And I've learned my lesson. Just say no to texting, kids. It's the devil.
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