Dad quotes are always funny, but what about when you add Dad's dryness to a large amount of narcotics after his knee replacement surgery? Gems. All gems.
Again, unless you know my Dad, they may not be as funny to you.
"Great. Because she's insane, I have to have girly tissues"
-In reference to the box of fancy tissues Grandma bought him
"Oh man. We've got to get our hands on this stuff man."
-What stuff
"Dope. BOOM. OUT. BOOM. OUT"
"They tried to make me go to rehab but I said no, no, no..."
-Yes, the lyrics to Rehab by Amy Winehouse
"I'll push it again for the heck of it...it probably doesnt do anything"
-The drug button that releases MORPHINE into his IV
"Why are you staring at me? Why dont you sing holy songs? Rock of Ages..."
"I like this view"
-What do you see?
"The top of a tree"
"JESUS, put me under!"
-after Mom was talking to him
-Dad, your toiletries are in the bathroom.
"No, they are health and beauty aids"
"I gotta have Puffs? I cant even get to my stinkin nose with this thing"
-Yelling about tissues and the oxygen nose thing
"I successfully completed the pill"
-After swallowing one pill
"What do you expect? I'm hooked up to DOPE!................dopamine"
-After being laughed at for dozing off
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