worm ears, bad music and picnic tables=true love.

Going back to the roots of this blog. Saved By The Bell!!

This morning I had the pleasure of watching a well-rounded episode.

How is that possible? What episode you ask? Well none other than "The Prom" episode.

This is a classic episode. Usually all prom episodes of any teen-targeted show are a big deal.
Examples include: 90210...If you'll remember, Donna got drunk off of (literally) one glass of champagne and almost didn't graduate and there was something about this tee shirt (see below) andddd well thats really my only example, but its a good one.ANYWAY...

In this particular SBTB, we have a few story lines going on.

To start, the main story line features Kelly finally making a decision between her two male suitors--Zack and Slater. The boys finally give Kelly an ultimatum...she has to pick one of them to join at prom.


1. Dream sequence (the infamous pink border around television)
-This dream featured Screech as "Geraldo Screech" also combining a competition between Zack and Slater. There was an evening wear competition and Slater was actually wearing a white suit a la Miami Vice. Kelly chooses Dream Slater in the dream, but somehow Dream Zack wins her over so when she wakes up, she decides to choose Zack instead. Seems sort of fishy to me.

2. Kelly chooses Zack over Slater as a prom date
-This is a pivotal moment...its starts the Zack/Kelly relationship and leaves Slater available to date Jessie. Zack begins preparation right away-securing a limo, etc. Come on. We knew all along that Kelly wouldnt be able to resist Zack's charm and technological savvy (his 10lb cell phone).

3. Kelly's Dad loses his job
-Mr. Kapowski informs Kelly that he has lost his job and needs her to stay positive and help the family. There is some sort of exchange about peace breaking out, the defense department, etc etc. It was way too intense for me to follow. Kelly offers to give up her money for the prom dress...Mr. Kapowski refuses at first but then the bastard gives in and takes the money back. This is where Kelly first mentions her "7 siblings". The rarely seen little Kapowskis. I believe there is a sister that makes an appearance in later episodes and also who could forget Baby Billy? Kelly cries after her Dad leaves and exclaims "This is the first time I've lied to my father!!" The emotions in the scene are overwhelming.

4. Box of worms
-Ah Screech. Never gives up on Lisa no matter how mean she is to him. Lisa said she would go out with Screech when "worms have ears!" Well, Screech sent her a box of worms with little taped on ears. Classic.

5. The date
-Screech and Lisa went on their first date, but sat in this order: Screech, Slater, Jessie, Zack, Kelly, then Lisa. Hilarity ensues...Lisa wont sit next to Screech, there is some yelling, then Screech finally sits next to Lisa and buys her popcorn/soda combo. Lisa proceeds to talk the whole time and annoys Screech...asking each time if the zombie is "Matt Dillion"...to which Screech replies with one of the best lines of the episode, "Alan Thicke is the zombie, everyone knows that!!"

6. Jessie and Slater go to prom together
-This is where their relationship finally started to blossom. There is numerous name-calling and arguing. Examples-- Jessie calls Slater a "Chair pig", Jessie says that Slater only likes the lambada, Slater says Jessie only likes protest music, etc etc.

Then Jessie criticizes Slater's TAPES--being that he only showed up with Paula Abdul and Janet Jackson. And just to point out...they mentioned real artist names, but I guess couldn't afford the rights to the music...because when Jessie and Slater (the music chairs for the prom committee) finally decided on music, it turned out to be that crazy-ass SBTB instrumental music that they play at The Max. To top it all off, poor Screech was the DJ. You know he didnt get paid. WTF did Bayside spend their money on?

7. Actual Prom
-Jessie and Slater wow-ed the crowd with their dancing skills. Which included Jessie's highly inappropriate leg on Slater...seems that she had more experience pole dancing in preparation for her role in "Showgirls" than previously suspected. Slater was really dancing up a storm too. I keep bringing this up in these blogs because he totally he did have dancing experience yet tried to pretend that he didnt when he was on "Dancing with the Stars". He donned a tutu one too many times. Kelly/Zack had their own special prom outside on a picnic table.


It showed Zack's sweet side as he planned a prom complete with their own personalized party banner that said "Kelly and Zack's Prom". They had their first dance and kiss and eventually because of this pivotal episode...although there were some bumps along the way (ie Jeff)...they got married.

Therefore, this episode plays out like some sort of madcap Shakespearean comedy. Um, of course, that's only if I pretend that this one episode combines with the wedding episode that actually aired like 5 years later. Whatever, I love SBTB.

boy meets girl...

Boy Meets Girl is a band from the 80's who were most famous for the song "Waiting for a Star to Fall". The song was featured in "Three Men and a Baby" during a frisbee montage at the end of the movie. I'm not sure if that last sentence is actually true, but I will pretend that it is and I didnt somehow make up a scene in that movie...because that would be sad.

Anyway, I remember hearing this particular song on the 4th of July driving in my car as I saw beautiful fireworks in the distance. It was all very romantic and romantic-comedy-like. I tried to think that it represented some sort of independence from everyone and an independence from my need to be involved in over dramatic situations that I probably create on my own.

But of course, all I really discovered was A) I think too much when I drive alone and B) that I'm a total softie for 80s love songs and anything love-related in general. I've never been one to fall into weepiness over stereotypical "romantic" things...but this song makes my heart go a-flutter.

Besides that goofy 80s song, today (the 11th) I was inspired by something lovely. I was driving to Alayna's on 83N when I saw someones message to their significant other (or maybe crush, stalking victim, etc) on one of the bridges above. It was the infamous creation of words by red plastic cups. Generally used for the magnificent flip cup/beer pong variety, these cups actually spelled the name of the intended party and then a few moments later the second bridge spelled "I love ya" in cups. It struck me as really sweet and it began to melt away at my tough exterior that I so willingly put up as a defense mechanism sometimes.

So, it appears that I'm pretty easy to please. Play "Waiting for a Star to Fall" and then spell something in plastic cups for me and I'm yours.*

Enjoy the cheesiness of the video:






*Also must kill bugs. I saw some sort centipede-type thing in my room tonight and I almost fell over.

these dreams...dreamlover....i can dream about you...dreamweaver...dream on...dont dream its over...

Does anyone have wacko dreams? I've been having weird dreams since I was a kid. Some of them I remember in detail, others not so much (as you'll see below). I pretty much think my brain is way over active and the dreams I had as a kid were totally meant to come back and bite me in the ass. I'm going to try to list some of the dreams I remember and then list some of the ones my friends have told me about. It might explain our behavior. Who knows.

Weird Blimp Guy (circa 1984):
The earliest dream I can remember is one where a evil figure (resembling Count Chocula) was flying overhead in a blimp stealing my stuffed animals. Terrifying.

My Pet Monster (circa 1986):
I had a dream that involved me on a skateboard. I fell off and landed pretty much under a car. My arm was out-stretched and before I knew it, "My Pet Monster", had bitten off my arm. It wasnt bloody or anything, just gone. This fear of "MPM" lead me to a fear of "Where the Wild Things Are" as well. I fear the day that Simon wants me to read that book to him and I have a panic attack.

Short Circuit (circa 1986):
All I remember is that Johnny 5 was chasing me down the alley behind my Grandma's house. I ran into her kitchen and shut the door, but Johnny 5 was strong and started pounding on the door and before I knew it...his little metal hand was coming through the crack of the door and reaching for my neck. Now I can't see the movie "Wall-E" because he is most obviously the evil spawn of Johnny 5. And of course I cant watch "Short Circuit" anymore either.

Preggo (circa 1998):
I had a dream I was pregnant with Brandon's baby. I was mortified in the dream. That's pretty much it. I remember yelling "I DONT WANT THIS KID!"

Puppies (circa 2004):
I remember being in a room with Chris and we were surrounded by puppies. Then we carried candles to another room. They were lit. That's all I remember. Weirdness.

The House (circa 2008):
The first scene has Dion, Alayna and I in a bar. Dion kept trying to buy me beer and hotdogs. Next we were in the new house that Alayna and Dion bought. It was decorated in black/white tile and blue walls. She was really upset that they had an extra attic room...and I pointed out that she could put an older son up there, like Greg Brady.

Alicia's European Dream (2008):
I dont remember much about what Alicia said, but Simon was there dressed as a little European boy and he was proper and had a lovely accent and was making friends with people. I think.

Alayna's Donut Dream (2008):
I'm convinced Alayna had a dream about a donut. It might just be this blog that I'm thinking about. Hmm.

Carson's Monkey Dream (2008):
Straight from his email:
"I had an awesome dream where I was just driving around, but instead of people I kept seeing cute little tree monkeys. Monkeys in suits, construction worker monkeys, girl monkeys, homeless beggar monkeys, kid monkeys that dyed their monkey hair all the colors of the rainbow. Man, it was a good dream."

So, I'm not sure if dreams really mean anything...half the time you cant remember them and its just a hodgepodge of everything that crossed your path that day. The most random things stick in your head and then BOOM weird dream. I'll now leave you with one of the greatest songs ever with "dreams" in the title. Enjoy and don't be scared. You love it.

Dad quotes part deux

Dad quotes are always funny, but what about when you add Dad's dryness to a large amount of narcotics after his knee replacement surgery? Gems. All gems.

Again, unless you know my Dad, they may not be as funny to you.

"Great. Because she's insane, I have to have girly tissues"
-In reference to the box of fancy tissues Grandma bought him

"Oh man. We've got to get our hands on this stuff man."
-What stuff
"Dope. BOOM. OUT. BOOM. OUT"

"They tried to make me go to rehab but I said no, no, no..."
-Yes, the lyrics to Rehab by Amy Winehouse

"I'll push it again for the heck of it...it probably doesnt do anything"
-The drug button that releases MORPHINE into his IV

"Why are you staring at me? Why dont you sing holy songs? Rock of Ages..."

"I like this view"
-What do you see?
"The top of a tree"

"JESUS, put me under!"
-after Mom was talking to him

-Dad, your toiletries are in the bathroom.
"No, they are health and beauty aids"

"I gotta have Puffs? I cant even get to my stinkin nose with this thing"
-Yelling about tissues and the oxygen nose thing

"I successfully completed the pill"
-After swallowing one pill

"What do you expect? I'm hooked up to DOPE!................dopamine"
-After being laughed at for dozing off

we're toast

There are plenty of reasons why Alayna and I are best friends. Some of these might include: our ability to laugh at everything, a complete understanding (usually) of each others behaviors, and a love of 80s music.

Personally, I think the biggest and best reason is the fact that we both have toaster ovens in our trunk. Did you just say "what?" outloud? Yeah, well, its true. I was given a toaster oven probably a year ago and its been in my trunk ever since. I dont feel like dealing with bringing it into the house. Alayna recently received hers and its just in her trunk too for the same reason. Who else do you know that carries toaster ovens in their trunks? No one. We're awesome. As is documented below in 2 photos. One drunk and one sober. You can determine which is which. Maybe one day we'll take one with our toaster ovens...if we ever get them out of the car.

the enchanted f'ing forest.

Alrighty...this one is going to blow your mind.

In 2005, I wrote a blog...I'm reposting it here. the purpose of this blog starts below the old blog!
==============================================================

things that screwed me up as a child: episode .1
Current mood: creeped out!
Category: creeped out! Travel and Places

when i was little i was taken to all kinds of amusement parks and i was pretty much afraid of at least one thing at each park.

my parents were big fans of "dutch wonderland" in pennsylvania. numerous things scared me here:

log flume and the "froggy" tunnel: it was the tunnel you had to go through before you got to the top of the log flume. it was one of those things that was added after like 10 years to make it more fun. it instead scared the crap out of me. it sent you through a giant frogs huge opened mouth. and once you got in you couldnt see anything. it was foggy and moist and warm and it ended my love of the log flume. do i get on log flumes to this day? NOPE. (with or without a froggy tunnel)

the jungle cruise: what looks like a tame ride is actually a horrifying terror-filled boat ride towards man-eating animatronic plastic animals. is that redundant? oh well. i have a distinct memory of being in the boat and going towards the giant hippo and alligator's mouth, again, scaring the crap out of me.

sky cab: i dont remember the actual name of this ride but i think you get the idea. i wasnt really afraid of this ride but i almost lost a shoe. thats enough to make a girl get upset!

kings dominion:

scooby doo's ghost coaster roller coaster: worst. ride. ever.

disney world:

primieval whirl: horrible. kind of like that stupid mouse ride that spins but there are weird dizzy walls and drops and i wanted to die.

snow whites scary adventures: i stand by the fact that when i went to disney world the first time in 97 it was called "snow whites adventures". when i went back in 99, it was changed to "scary adventures". before this, no one believed that it was scary..."quit being dumb kara, blah blah". ha! proved you all wrong! name was changed!

THE ENCHANTED FOREST

the entire purpose to this stupid blog. i was mindlessly searching the internet and for some reason i remembered that the enchanted forest was supposed to re-open. i googled it and found some pics. it totally freaked me out. does everyone else remember this place? when i was little i loved it, but now looking back its totally creepy! check out the website. right now the park is closed and it is being overrun with weeds and stuff and it looks really sad...like oz in "return to oz" when the wheelers were running around all kinds of creepy like and tick tock was whining in the back room "wind me dorothy wind me". but thats a whole new complaint for a different time.

anyways, check out the pictures, see if they freak you out or if its just my normal anxiety towards bizarre things in amusement parks. have a nice day:)

http://theimaginaryworld.com/ef.html

==============================================================

Welcome back. Hope you're still reading. So my Dad had agreed to take me to the "new" Enchanted Forest...and today we finally went. My mom swears that I liked it when I was little...I'm not so sure...

When we pulled up to "Elioak's Farm", I could see the crazy Enchanted Forest figurines and houses...I decided I didnt want to go in. It cost $4.00 and before I know it, my Dad paid the lady at the booth and he patted me on the back and said "its time for you to grow up...go into The Enchanted Forest alone". The next thing you know, my parents are hanging out in the gift shop and I'm trudging through the terror that is The Enchanted Forest. I was moving quick. As quick as I could due to my bandaged feet. It was hot and scary and I've documented my visit. See the below slideshow. I hope you enjoy...and I hope I dont have nightmares tonight.

View Album

Get your own

RNR, WTF?

RNR.

It stands for "Read No Response". It happens when someone (generally a female) sends a text message or email to someone (generally a male) and the said person reads and doesn't respond. Hence the term RNR.

I often wonder how difficult it must be to answer text messages...oh wait, I don't have to wonder. I know that it isn't difficult AT ALL. Usually a response of "ok", "sure", "np" or even "k" for shit sake is acceptable.

I've decided to put together a few steps that will help the novice deal with an RNR. The more I think about it, the more I realize I'm probably not qualified to help with RNR's, but oh well.

1. Don't let the RNR ruin your life.
Often times the response to a text message is so detrimental to our lives that our mood and overall happiness will be tragically altered by the non-responsive party. Mind over matter. Realize that the said party probably isnt thinking about the text as much as you are. They acknowledge it by reading it and maybe smiling to themselves or making a mental note, etc.

2. Ask a question.
This is usually a good way to ensure a response to a typically non-responsive RNR-er. If you ask a question, it generally forces the said party to answer.

3. Stop the torture. Stop the texting.
I swear to God, texting is the new "drunk dial". I cant tell you how many times I text when I dont mean to or want to. I can see myself texting and I'm telling myself to stop but I cant. It's a drug. If I would just put the phone down, I could avoid all unnecessary *potential* disappointments.

I was a MassComm major. I blame all of this on my need to constantly be in communication with people. Maybe its because I'm an only child and need constant attention. Whatever it is, I need it constantly.

I felt that for this blog to be official and accurate...I should send a text in the middle of it. Well, the results included 2 responses and one last text from me with no response. Do I regret this decision?

Okay, lets recap...and see how I did.

1. Life ruined?
Mild devastation, not permanent or severe.

2. Did I ask a question?
No, so really no need for a response.

3. Stop texting.
Did I stop? No. I should have.

Again, do I regret my decisions? My answer is no. It was for the greater good of the blog. And I've learned my lesson. Just say no to texting, kids. It's the devil.